Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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