Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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