Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
