Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
