Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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