You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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