Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
