I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
