just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
