You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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