Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
