it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
