1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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