I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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