She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
True strength comes from lack of pants
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
