I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
