Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
