I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The adults are the big ones right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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