meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
