oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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