Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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