I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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