So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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