Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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