Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
