I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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