How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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