The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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