I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize