i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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