508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
