I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
