So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do vagina's smell?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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