just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
