I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You're so nebulous sometimes
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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