yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
