my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
