i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
