I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
