babies were throwing up all over the place
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
