I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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