I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw a hot homeless man
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
