Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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