three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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