He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
