Just fell off a train. Bad.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
