so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
