I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
