I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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