I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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