His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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