don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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