Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
