I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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