hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize