but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
