Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
