Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
