I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
