I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
