Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
