Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
