I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
