I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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