piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
