Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
